John Gave Me a Strawberry

John gave me a strawberry
and told me to lift it up
high and think it
a star.
Look at its points—
its spots—and watch
it glow bright
red.  It will fall
anytime soon.

Only Too Soon (Free Verse)

I.

I always loved the sound of the opening door…

Because when I would hear it opening before,

I used to see you come in, and you came with everything.

Now you are only but a memory—a memory that the sound brings.

The door opens with a screech that reminds me of you—

You were the one who always brightened up the blue;

You filled the corner that was devoid of life.

II.

You said that men are torn from civil strife,

But now I am torn apart to endure every listless night!

I sleep in this closed space with no one in sight.

The door opens. The door closes. The night is as empty as ever,

But night would always be night, even if man should live forever.

As I stand by the door each afternoon,

I shall remember the day you left only too soon.

A Remake of "Untitled 1"/Comatose

I think of how you lay still on your bed

With only fragment pictures in your head.

No thoughts were expressed, and no word was said.

Long silence endured as the skin was fed.

I saw the needle and wire at your side.

I saw that sickness was one you cannot hide.

As soft as a feather, you lay unmoved.

How were you that night and what had improved?

By myself I could only hope and pray

And wish that you’d wake up again someday,

But your stillness fills my heart with much pain.

How is it that my heart can still regain?

Will it be enough to ask and not see?

Or will this be the way things always will be?

Because I Have You

Why can't I be you?
You have someone who loves you—
me. I'm passionate about you
and jealous, too,
because you have me,
a person who wants
you
desperately.
So why can't I be you
and be longed for
by someone
who loves you
like me?

That's because I have you,
and to love you is to be with you
in my dreams.
I need not to be jealous of you just
because you have me
because I have you—you
to love in secret, you
to be with in my dreams, and you
to dream of in my sleep.
I have you to hold
in my heart. I do not need
to be you because I'm in love
with you. Because I'm in love
with you, we are
never apart.

Said the Moon to the Sun (Part 1)

You said unto me that I
am the moon to your night sky.
But what is the moon but a disc of white,
a single rock in space, a satellite whose light
does on the sun's light depend?

If you should say, "Shine, moon,
and go without the sun,"
I would say it cannot be,
for the moon shines from the sun,
and from the sun its life and beauty.
Lest the sun would gravely cease to be,
the moon would lose its face,
its light...
its entirety.

And I am your lifeless,
faceless moon,
thrust into space,
magnified by the light that comes from you, my sun.

So shine, my sun,
and fill this moon with the light that comes from you
that it may forevermore shine through
in the nighttime where darkness is due.

Remind Me Again...

Remind me again
of how we used to sing together
Show me the picture
of the time we held each other
Tell me the story
of when we first met
Bring back the time
you said, "I won't forget."
Do you remember
what you whispered in my ear?
Did you see that
my happiness came with every tear?
Will you tell me again
how much you need me and love me?
Should I listen to you,
or should I set my heart free?

I Think About Tonight...

I think about tonight and wonder why
I had ever been in love with a man
Of his type--responsible, mature, smart,
Versatile, and a good leader...who drinks
A lot and cusses a lot, and I guess
Tonight had just made me lose all my mind
And respect for him and regret having
Given it to him. He was wild last night.
I regret having done the things I did
Just so he'd say, "Hey, she's quite apt for the
Job!" And I regret feeling the way I
used to feel, which made my feelings go 'round.
I just don't like the way he is. He's of
A strange culture I cannot adapt to.

When With Him

To be in love
and to be loved back
are certainly two very
different things.
I'm wide awake remembering
the last most visible memory
I had been in love
with a man who cared
no more than I did,
and it was when stealing glances always
seemed the hardest thing to do,
and avoiding each other's eye
was as painful as painful could get.
I know he couldn't love me.
He's got scars. I've got mine too,
But feeling the painful is like nothing
when with him, and doing the hard
makes life easy when with him.
When with him I am entertained
Though he utters not a sound.
I feel light though silence
is his tone and key. When with him,
I don't even think of myself because when with him,
I feel that he is myself and myself he.
Yet to be in love and not loved back
is beyond painful and beyond hard.
It leaves scars that hurt very much.
I know he couldn't love me.
We've both got scars, and it's painful,
Unbearable, and especially not as pleasurable
as when with him.

Because of Some False Tale...Because of Some Wretched Story...

I am troubled
by the things
that dance inside my head,
with the words that tell me
"you're not good enough"
"you're not going to be okay"

I am deeply bothered
by the sound of the thunder
that rolls inside my heart...
Will it yell at me louder?
Will there be no stop?

I hear every distant cry
from a hazy world deep down inside.
I look around me and see nothing but dancing lights
and skies of orange and pale purple
calling me
to look up
and gaze
and cry

(Oh,
'tis a sad world...
and a lonely place...)

I think of you and of how happy
seeing you happy made me,
and just so you know,
things are quite different now.

I hope you hear the thunder inside
because it pains me to think that we can no longer speak
the way we used to
because of some false tale
because of some wretched story

Can't you see, I'm not happy inside
I'm not happy because it's reality I see
I see you thinking the wrong way about me
I see you not the way you're supposed to see me

and it worries me more
why?
because we can no longer be the "good friends" we once were
because of someone's false tale
because of someone's wretched story

Life is an Angry Maze

I used to like to trust man.

I used to, before,

and I did, once more.

I thought that men would keep

when you say keep and not give away

what are yours

because it’s mean

and it ruins relationships,

breaks things apart, and kills things that
cannot be brought back to life again.

Worst of all, people believe too much.

“Don’t ask; just believe.”

Anyone could tell that this

has been going on for years.

People believe

without asking

and sometimes without verifying if what they’ve heard

was the truth.

And then they sound off mindlessly,

aimlessly, looking toward

nothing so that nothing would

look back toward them,

and life after all is a crazy chase

after something too far to reach,

something too fast to capture,

and something too impossible to find.

It is a crazy search, too,

for something longed for

for so long…

so long that you can no longer recall how long

and you would eventually forget you had wanted it because it’s

just not always there to see.

Life is an angry maze where you

are in the maze and you

are the maze itself. It is a crazy

“looking-for-something” kind of game, and

you are in a maze that’s also within

yourself. You know what you want,

and you know where to find it.

You just have to get there

and figure out how you’re going to get there.

Light from the Cold

From a balcony where strong winds did blow,

I gazed at the dark orange sky so bold,

Looking down at the big wide world below,

One evening, I stood alone in the cold.

When I thought that stardust had no more hope,

And that the world only brightened at day,

When certain mishaps never changed lone scope,

I stood shivering to hear what he’d say.

One sudden ring had tuned my heart to sing,

Having ten minutes to end in a swish.

Cold, unusual, strong—and what did it bring?

A surprise for me and a granted wish.

It was a glorious night indeed, and I,

Returning to the room, gave a deep sigh.

Seeking You

This poem was turned into a song and was entitled "Non Chiederti Perche." :)

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oOw8AURFCe4

I need you

because I'm lost

and I'm never sure

what wrong I'd do or

what mistake more

when you

don't come

here

now

and help me out tonight.

il cuore mio vuole soltanto te
ma poi non so parlare
non chiederti perche

I miss you;

I'm all alone

and I seek the voice

that once carried me

in my sadness.

You are

my dream;

you

wake

me up when I'm asleep.

Blank Verse: Star High

"i "—like in mathematics; imaginary, intangible, ethereal—the parts of me that stay unseen, the person I am or wish to be

To the stars again, my i, let us fly,

Where people do gaze yet do not see

How peaceful life star high could ever be;

Flee with me for a moment, let’s draw nigh.

We shall see tonight what our eyes deny.

We will see not only light and debris,

But now learn the hidden sky mystery

Unto a dreamy, heightened place star high.

The world will not find us star high, my i.

From where we see them, they won’t see you and me—

A place without surveillance or custody,

A space that spans what threads of years belie.

We will see the world from our view star high

All mountains and dry lands, all shores and seas,

Images that boast of the world’s beauty.

Come and gaze at the flaunting world from high.

Bid, we should now, the cruel world goodbye

And flee from its face and all its beauty.

Lest there be wars, calamities or poverty,

We won’t see the world cry from up high.

But when we see the world weep, so weep, my i

For laughter is not in consistency;

Agents of hatred attack endlessly,

Beholding the world’s tears, beholding the world’s cries.

So then, from the world, let us fly, my i,

To a place from where beauty is all we will see,

To a space from which we can view world’s artistry.

Let us now to a blithesome place star high.

Let us go, to the stars, my i, let us fly

To learn the ways the world can be happy

To understand a hidden sky mystery

Why people gaze yet do not see star high.

Poetry in the Night

I penned this short free-verse early this last January, barely giving it any form. It was merely a short "poetry in the night,/poetry in the candlelight..." and nothing more.  I left it untouched for many months until finally I picked it up again upon sight of an online poetry contest, so then I went back to my old ideas and revived the poem.  What truly inspired me to fix it was not the contest but the glorious feeling of every time I stay up writing at night with my candle forming a mask of heat on my face.  As I watch the fire burn wax as my writings burn silence, I feel sweet and calm inside just as the night is.  The lines "dark world blanket, nighttime space" has some significance to the whole point of writing this because it encompasses what I truly feel on every writing night.  Darkness becomes nothing more than a blanket that cuddles me safe and warm.  "Nighttime space" gives me the freedom and space to think freely and write freely without needing to care so much of worries of the day.  This poem is a white flag I wave to those who love the night like I do.  It is when creative juices flow outward, effortlessly, from the heart.

Poetry in the night,
Poetry in the candlelight,
Dark world blanket, nighttime space,
Glorious are candles
That warm at your face.
Wake up. Night is gleaming.

Poetry in the night,
Poetry in the candlelight,
Carve from reason, old or new,
Silence is wondrous
Where nighttime is due.
Stay up. Night is fleeting.

Chained for God

Heart battered by sin, soul chained to the fire,
I once dwelled in a cave fueled by evil desire.
With every misdeed, the chains at my feet
Tightened with sorrow, seared by execrable heat.

A flower that fades, a wave tossed away,
I stumbled and strove, heralding dismay.
Lost in the world, I deceived and lied,
And in my confusion, I cried out:

"Take my chains, Lord, crush them in Your hands.
Raise me from the darkness, light my way with Your commands.
Teach me how to love, Lord, open my eyes anew.
Fill my spirit with wisdom; let my life be chained for You."

The peace of Christ Jesus entered my heart,
With His warm protection, I embarked on a new start.
The chains of my past, those fragments of sin,
No longer bind me—I've found joy within.

The love of my Savior lifts me up high,
I'll live for the cross until the day I die.
The power of His presence gives me no fear
To share His Word and comfort every tear.

Sixteen Years, Trying to Get into the Swing of Things

When I was five, I pulled myself up on swing sets too high for me,
Coiled my fingers around the chains,
Paddled my feet wildly,
And felt the thrill in my chest.
I kicked hard enough to feel like I was flying.

When I was twelve, I stood on the seat,
Wound the chains tight,
Watched people pass by,
And pushed off recklessly.
I threw myself into the air,
Tore free from the chains,
Dismounted the swing,
And withstood the impact.

When I was thirteen, I was unstoppable,
Invincible, untouchable,
Even as I kissed the grass with torn knees,
I was an individual.
I covered my ears to the metal's screeching protest,
Subverted warnings of my fall,
And blocked out anyone who came to my rescue.

When I was sixteen, I fixed the old swing set,
Sat on the seat, weighed down by fallen hopes and broken dreams.
I held my fears close,
Eluding any fall.
Lest the swing be too fragile,
I lay on the grass and watched the unadorned stars.
The stars were distant,
But the grass was right there,
Messed up everywhere,
Just like me.

I Unfolded My Thousandth Paper Crane

I unfolded my thousandth paper crane
And swept a thousand sheets into the rain.
I relegated my days of tears and pain
And slept a night sans anguish and disdain.

I Found a Place

I found a place for you and I with three
Chambers in the dark for us to hide and
Join and write our stories in the glory
Of the night that it may never end.

Freshman Fantasía :))

I often wish that you would see
A hurtful heartbreak when I see
A hand you hold, a warm embrace,
A hand not mine, a girl not me.
That promenade a tragedy,
A hateful story to erase.

I often hope that someday I
Could have a day so tarried by
Moment to moment, heart to heart,
A day of pleasure, you and I,
A fateful fantasy I cry,
You and I and never apart.